Are you ready to get real?

“Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do, long after the mood you said it in has left you.”

This is a well known quote that a mentor of mine shared with me years ago when I was trying to have a breakthrough with my relationship to the word commitment. That word used to frighten me. It intimidated me. And when I heard it, I would avoid it at all costs. And my life and goals stayed the same as long as I viewed it through a frightening and intimidating lens.

A different mentor (I’ve had many and that's a clue) said these words to me once….Look in the mirror. You are the problem. That felt harsh until I heard her follow up the sentence with….Look in the mirror you are also the solution.

We are in week two of the commitment challenge at Fitness Together and so this is the perfect time to examine your current relationship with that word. If you haven’t joined it yet, don’t feel like you missed out, we encourage you to start even if you missed the start date.

I decided to start my commitment earlier so I would have more time under my belt to write about my experience and hopefully inspire a spark of change in your mindset with this article.

I just recently completed week 5 of my commitment to myself and I’m doing the same commitments all the way until 5/1. This isn’t to intimidate you or make you feel that that's what you need to do. You need to understand that I’ve been investing in my health and mindset for over twenty years and had my breakthrough with that word a long time ago.

My overall goal for 5/1 is to lean out. And so what am I committing to to reach that goal? I’m committing to performance related wins. I am not committing to complaining, standing on the scale multiple times a day, or not showing up for myself. Because those things will not yield what I’m looking to create.

The number on the scale is useless. My commitment is not.

A bad attitude is useless. My commitment is not.

The excuses are useless. My commitment is not.

There was a time I was addicted to weighing myself several years ago. And I broke through that self-inflicted punishment by seeking out mentors/therapists/life-coaches/meditation/podcasts/personal development/etc.

I used to have a home filled with post-it notes all over to help to reprogram my brain. I’ve been there. I’ve done the work. I grew up in a home with tons of verbal abuse present and have had to do a lot of work to shut it off in my own mind. And it just doesn’t show up anymore. So if I can change my mindset, anyone can.

You may be thinking, "So how does one go about changing their relationship with the word commitment"?

You may have heard the famous quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.

Let's dive deeper into how that applies to limiting beliefs you may carry and the choices you continue to make.

If you aren’t honest with yourself then results will not be created. (READ THAT AGAIN) You have to begin to look for opportunities to be honest with yourself. If you aren’t willing to look for opportunities about being honest with yourself and choosing differently than you’ve been choosing, then results will not be created. Committing to showing up for yourself means that you can no longer make your decisions from superficial lies and lack of awareness. You have to make your decisions from commitment to honesty. You have to operate from a level of truth and boundaries with your own excuses, stories, and b.s.

As trainers, it's our job to support your empowered choices. You have to be the hero in your own story and make those empowered choices though.

What does that look like?

Let's say your overall goal is to lean out. I would say that is one of the most common goals among the population.

And let's say you have started your health journey with FT and you are coming 2-3 times a week. Maybe you were not doing anything before joining and so this is the first step.

2-3 workouts a week is an amazing start and we commend you.

Now imagine a block of 12 steps and leaning out is on the top step.

2-3 workouts would be step one. The first step in the commitment staircase. Leaning out doesn’t come until step 12. So metaphorically speaking, there are 11 other steps to climb before you lean out. Are you getting a visual here?

Most people set goals that are not congruent with their actions. Maybe coming 2-3 times a week is such a huge commitment for you that you really believe you should be lean now. You may believe you are doing all the right things and that you should be on that 12th step.

It's kind of like graduating. You can’t go from kindergarten to getting your diploma in one step. You have to go through all the other grades. Health and fitness are not a destination. They are a lifetime commitment that never ends. We just evolve to the next level.

And so an empowered step two would most likely be adding cardio. Let's talk about that for a minute and how important it is. The American Heart Association recommends getting at least 150 minutes per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity or 75 minutes per week of vigorous aerobic activity preferably spread throughout the week to MAINTAIN your health.

Notice they said maintain. That's the minimum to maintain. That is NOT for weight loss. Now, applying that information and integrating it with being honest with yourself you can look at where you may need to implement some change. (Being objective is crucial. Shaming yourself is useless. Taking a new step is not.)

So if you’ve been coming 2-3 sessions a week for awhile but you aren’t doing even the minimum required cardio exercise that the American Heart Association recommends let alone what is really recommended for weight loss (which is more minutes, days, etc) then you are not going to reach the 12th step. It's not scientifically possible (unless of course you have impeccable nutrition which is step three)

I know what you’re thinking so let me stop you before you spiral. That sucks. That's hard. Blah blah blah. Do you see where your own words block you from moving forward? Hard in the short term is adding more cardio. Hard in the long term is choosing your insanity to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

So you start small. Small wins always yield more consistency over time. Throwing yourself into the deep end all at once sets you up for failure and overwhelm.

So maybe you start with 5-10 minutes of cardio before each session or after each session. And then maybe you increase it over time. Five minutes leads to 30-40 minutes before/after their sessions, where so many of our clients get to. Guess what? They are the most fit clients. Because they are committing.

We have one client who gets up and walks 3-5 miles per morning. Another one walks 3-5 miles every Saturday/Sunday. Another client just recently added a Barre class to cross train.

This is your journey to step two. Once step two has been established (I would say a good month or so) you can begin to incorporate step three.

Step three might be nutrition. Maybe you work with a meal prep company. Maybe you book a session with Nicole or Sarah. Nutrition is about 90% of what creates the results around leaning out. I”m going to repeat that. Nutrition is about 90% of what creates the results around leaning out. (But don’t throw yourself in the deep end. Baby steps. You’re probably breaking through a lifetime of getting wrong information, and not having a relationship with health/fitness until now) Graduation does not happen in one year. It happens little by little over time. I cannot reinforce that enough.

So we have lifting, cardio, and nutrition.

Know that a true transformation starts in the mind before anything else. And transformation comes from living from an empowered state rather than a state of punishment.

Having a mindset shift is about becoming aware of when you are punishing yourself or empowering yourself and being gentle with yourself in the process. I had a life/business coach that I worked with for several years when I was breaking through punishing myself and he would point out how the majority of the population were “hardoholics” extremely hard on themselves with negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.

You’d be surprised how much of society shows up in limiting beliefs. I hear it in my sessions with clients. We all do and we bring it to the meetings and try to brainstorm how we can hold up a mirror for them to become more aware of their self-talk.

Limiting beliefs are when we focus on what we can’t do or what isn’t happening, how annoyed we are, and what's going wrong. And most of the time believe it or not this is because we believe a story we are telling ourselves to be true (negative self-talk) or we think we should have the results from doing less than what is required of ourselves to actually see change. It all comes back to taking ownership and personal responsibility for how honest we are with ourselves. While it's important to feel and process your feelings and frustrations, it's also imperative to examine where they are keeping you stuck in insanity and unhappiness. Any mindset shift demands that you take an honest look at yourself and accept what you cannot change (which lots of times is way less than we believe), have the courage, willingness, and responsibility to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.

What you feed your mind will determine how you interpret things. Your environment will determine things if you let it. The job you hate, the relationship that's not bringing you happiness, even the unhealthy programs still running from childhood whether learned from unhealthy parents, authority figures, or friends. All these things are determining factors in the lens and perspective that you view life from.

As a trainer, some of the limiting beliefs I hear in sessions sound like this…..

I can’t lift this weight. (Before even trying)

That's too heavy.

I can’t get into that position.

I’m too tired to workout. Occasionally this isn’t a problem but when you miss sessions over and over you create a bigger problem and more tiredness in the long term)

I could never eat that.

I’m fat. (If you focus on this you will miss out on other wins that are happening and could drastically change your attitude and self-empowerment)

Self-empowerment breeds self-empowerment. Body-shaming breeds unworthiness and more punishment.

I don’t have time for cardio (you have time to do ten minutes before or after) and just that much is an incredible start to feeling better and releasing endorphins. Not to mention all the other things it does.

I’m not going to stretch at home. (yet you continue to have back pain and want a fairy to wave a magic wand to make it better)

This is where personal responsibility HAS to be taken.

You can either implement steps or choose insanity. It's your choice.

Some of the things I’ve noticed within myself from my 5 weeks of my own commitment challenge.

I am increasing my weight and or reps continuously on pretty much every exercise which means I’m getting stronger.

I am able to rest less between sets and add more rounds now.

I’m able to go longer periods on my cardio sessions, add ankle weights now, and go faster.

My self-confidence is improving.

My mental health feels better.

I'm setting an example for others.

I’m seeing where I can continue to refine my growth.

Am I as lean as I want to be yet? No. But I’m not focusing on that. I set my eyes out four months, and I’m focusing on my daily commitments and I know a byproduct of that will be leaning out.

This is how you break through limiting beliefs.

Baby steps. Small wins. Doing the real work.

“The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it's not without doubt but in spite of doubt.”

-Rollo May

So now that you have read this are you ready to get real? Because until you do, everything stays the same. It's your choice. Maybe your next goal is actually breaking through your lack of commitment and not about leaning out at all. Maybe it’s simply time to go up to the next step. You have to climb the steps to reach the top.

Jen Lancaster, Personal Trainer and Certified Life Coach