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Personal Trainer with body image issues? That's embarassing...

Personal Trainer with body image issues? That's embarassing...

Holly Tamm

Did you watch this video? If you did you saw a woman kickboxing and doing squat jumps.  Big deal, right? Well, more on that in a bit…The woman in that video is me. My name is Holly Tamm and I am the owner of Fitness Together in Mequon and Whitefish Bay and this is my first blog post EVER…blog post numero uno. And I have to admit, I’m scared. Website experts say I’m supposed to write and I know that I want to write, but I’m deathly afraid of it.  Of what exactly? Well, that’s a good question. Maybe it’s a fear of people not liking what I say? Or maybe it’s a fear of people not caring what I say. Or better yet, maybe it’s a fear of people thinking “why should I listen to you?”  Most likely, my FEAR is made up of a combination of all of those things.

But yet, here I am…starting my writing journey. Maybe no one will read and maybe those that do won’t care. But if even one person thinks or behaves in a different way, for the better, after reading any of my words, then it was worth it, right? And to those that don’t, well, maybe I’ll get you next time. In the meantime, I will continue to CONQUER THIS FEAR.

I’m calling it Fall Fear Frenzy. This Fall I’m working on conquering my fears…things that I’ve put off or not done because I’ve been afraid. Or maybe I should call it Fear Fall Frenzy in honor of my fears “falling” as I conquer them? Either way, this month is all about taking steps to do the things I’ve been scared to do before! Hence, this blog…

Now, back to the video…that video is monumental for me. It has nothing to do with the kicking, punching, or squatting, but everything to do with what I’m wearing. I’m wearing tight-fitting leggings and believe it or not, that is the very FIRST time I ever wore tight-fitting leggings! How in the world has a girl who’s never been able to sit still, not worn leggings?  Well, it is due to a very real, life-long secret: I have body image issues. There, I said it. There’s no going back. When I try to figure out why I generally have a negative view of my body image, I struggle. I’m sure it is buried in layer after layer of little things that happened to me all my life that only Freud himself could uncover if given the chance.

It is hard to believe that a girl who’s entire life has been centered around sports and exercise would have issues that prevented her from wearing tight clothing, right?! What didn’t help is that for the past 5 years I’ve been carrying an extra 30 pounds that came on quickly in 2010 after a major life stressor. So in early 2014, I decided to go on a slow but steady weight loss journey and dropped 27 pounds in 18 months (more about that journey coming in later posts). And then, while I still didn’t look like Jillian Michaels or Jane Fonda, I decided that gosh darn it, it was time to buy leggings (another life-long fear). So, on my 36th birthday, I bought my first pair of leggings and set the baggy mesh basketball shorts aside. I was nervous at first. I felt like everyone was watching every ripple or jiggle and tweeting about the “girl who doesn’t fit her leggings”.  But the more I wore those leggings, the more comfortable I felt and the less I cared if anyone was watching. Because you know what? It really doesn’t matter what society or some creep on social media thinks I should look like.  It only matters how I feel. And I felt healthy and happy. So much so that I even decided to make a video (also another fear of mine). And then decided to PUT IT ON THE INTERNET! Talk about conquering fears!?!

But, cracking the fear shell didn’t happen overnight. It took little steps along the way. Little step after little step of successful attempts. Some bumps along the way, but with each step, it got a bit easier.  9 months and a garbage bag full of mesh shorts later, here I am. Writing…leggings…videos…? Never would’ve thought in a million years…

And so begins this new blog venture… I invite you to follow my blog journey and if you do, I hope you won’t be disappointed (and I promise, future posts will NOT be this long!). But since it’s my first, I feel there is a lot to explain. In addition to the personal psychoanalysis you’ve already been given, here are some questions I’ve been asked and my answers to them that I’d like to share:

“What will you write about?”

For the past year and a half, I’ve been asking my friends, family, and clients what they’d like to hear more about and I will start with the topics that I gathered from their answers.

“Who has made you the expert?”

Nobody. I’m not an expert at anything. I am a Certified Personal Trainer and Certified Performance Enhancement Specialist, I own 2 Fitness Together studios, I am a Strength and Conditioning Coach, a High School Basketball Coach, a former Division I basketball player and I have a Bachelor and Master of Science in Kinesiology. So, yes I have some credentials to back up what I say. But more so, I feel as though I’ve personally been through a bunch of life experiences and I’ve also helped many clients, friends, and family members get through some stuff as well. So I’d like to take what I’ve learned and talk about it! And, be as REAL as possible along the way…(beware Biggest Loser, Hydroxycut and Dr. Phil…my definition of REAL rarely includes quick fixes)

“How will you be different from all the other people writing about health and fitness?”

Good question. Maybe I will be different and maybe I won’t. The goal is not to stand out. The goal is to simply be honest and straightforward about whatever the topic is. Bring up real life situations that plague every day people like me and maybe you. I won’t have a title for my Blog but if I did, it would be REALfit.

“What is the point of all of this?”

Best question yet. My goal is to help people do something that they weren’t able to do before.  Success for me is if I can get even one person to think or do something just a little differently, in order to improve their wellbeing, whether it be spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically. And all while KEEPING IT REAL.  Join me, would you?

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