It was in the middle of summer where it hit me. I was sad. I was depressed. I was even angry. I was not liking the way I looked and I hated how I felt, mentally and emotionally even more. I looked in the mirror and thought how did I get here? Well, I got here by a 7 year emotional, spiritual and physical roller coaster set in motion by the death of my husband, Mark back in 2010. When your spouse dies, A part of you dies as well. You lose your identity. You lose your strength, your confidence and you put up a good front a lot of the times. You put up with a lot of people’s crap because you are trying to figure out your worth again. You are trying to build you again but often feel like you’re failing miserably. You go through periods of eating so many Wendy’s baconators because it’s the only thing that gives you comfort. And then you go through periods of eating NOTHING because even getting out of bed is impossible. And I know for me taking care of my boys took precedence over taking care of myself. And I believe that was the way it should’ve been. They are children and they did absolutely come first and they still do.
But now seven years later something hit me that one day when I took a long look at myself in the mirror. Not just with my outward appearance but my insides too. I made the decision on that day, that when the boys went back to school at the end of August, I was going to get in touch with a personal trainer. Not so much to lose weight, and look better (although THAT is part of the goal) but to feel better in my head and take control of me once again.
And finally the best testimony I can give is this. Since starting at Fitness Together, about 14 weeks ago, I have not had to take any of my anti-depressant pills. I mean, let’s be real here. Your husband doesn’t get killed the way mine did and not need a little help. The thing is, the medicine wasn’t helping, because I was in such a “funk” back in the summer. Now, I forget I even have them and have not taken once since I started this adventure. It’s true how good exercise and good nutrition is the most underrated and unused anti-depressant. And so now, about 14 weeks into my new way of life, I have not missed one scheduled workout. I go 3x a week, right after I drop the boys off. The trainer is waiting for me, so I’m being held accountable. So I’ve had my second evaluation and retest and so far, I’ve lost a total of 10 inches total body. My body fat index has gone down 6%, resting and recovering heart rates are both improved, weight loss is kicking in, and my performance in flexibility, holding planks, completing pushups and squats until fatigued has all improved greatly!!!
I’ve learned about nutrition, have made changes in my overall eating habits, learned that when I’m eating good foods it’s actually hard to hit my allotted calorie intake, and that I have to actually eat more to speed up the weight loss and not the other way around.
Even more than all this, the best thing that is happening to me is how it’s helped me to take control over my life again. It’s amazing how strong I feel physically carries over into all facets of my life. I feel like I’ve got control over my emotions and feelings again. It’s given me the strength to allow or to not allow people and situations into my life. It’s given me strength to be in control of and to set the standard of how people treat me and my kids. It’s given me the ability to stand up for myself and for my boys and not take any “crap”. There’s no gimmick. No shake substitute for a meal. No ordering special meals. No diet really. Just good old fashioned exercise complete with lower body, upper body, core and cardio and changing my eating habits little by little. Learning that I can still enjoy pizza on Friday nights because everything else is in check. I’m in it for the long haul because I want it to be a life change not a quick weight loss fix where you gain it all back and then some. I want it to be a life changing goal more for my mind and my mental strength as well as my physical strength. Slow and steady wins the race and that has been my motto since I started this. These trainers kill me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!! You can’t let their young, sweet, innocent faces fool ya. They have designed workouts for me that have brought me to the point of feeling like I’m gonna puke! YEAH!! Good stuff. For real. I’m being serious. And every single one of them are just as sweet as can be. (Even when they are KILLING me.).
Anyway, awesome stuff this Fitness Together place is. It’s changing me in a whole lot of ways and could not be happier that I took charge in this area of my life